Working Through

I peel away scabs soon as they form

Watching the blood bead and fall

Pouring over the letters I still can't make them out

Of course this is about me

Of course I don't run his show

And fuck you for saying so

Aren't you tired of lashing out

Stings and burns

Blisters and scars

I miss what hurts me most

It's so fucked

And it's no mystery to me

The less I talk, the more I think

The more I miss

The more I dream of reconciliation

and memories of sunsets

(thank god for distractions)

She's under my skin

I allowed it years ago

Now she shakes my confidence

Precipitates doubt and questioning

What motivation had I for any of it

What's my motivation now

So scared of what comes next

That I've handled it wrong

Been scared before, but not of change 

Things did get easier

After I took control

Removed myself from equations

Walked away from love

Toothache has now replaced pebbles in my shoe

Nobody has won