Nouvel Amour

Wanting to be ready,
knowing it might do me in,

I
step
forward.

I am Love.

closing down-fuck no
lefty loosey- fuck yes
I can't turn off this glow
I am not the sad girl

I'm in love with the world
and it loves me back
so much love my little heart explodes
projects
redirects

Prudence rings

I know what I have to give
and I repeat what I've said before
I am one of the lucky bastards
who realizes
love reflects in mirrors

and those mirrors are my friends
my sisters
my daughter

I might fall off
I might be bruised
but I saddle up
I know the highest highs
and I'm not afraid to FEEL

feel good
feel sad
feel everything

tonight I feel loved
maybe not from the sources I pour mine
love begets love

it can't be helped
I can't turn it off

it pours
it ooozes
from somewhere inside

and I love to give it

tonight I feel low
and tonight I feel happy
my melodrama plays out
and I know no matter what

I win.

end
of
story

Coffee induced reasoning :

Hope is important too.

path

let us feel
let us surprise
watch the moods rise and fall
and rise again
change is here
has always been
but now
it is time
and it is good

thoughts so comforting

you came without a question
and I felt without a doubt
a comfort
a comfort this time last year I believed never existed
I am overwhelmed
with everything
with the love I've been given
with the love I continue to give
with the storm outside
with change
with the storm inside
with responsibility
with continuing to breathe

and now there is this feeling
so real
this feeling
that when you are near
I am home

I am overwhelmed
by comfort

and today, pain

lightening strikes the ground outside my door
I dare not go out

Country Disappeared

Wake up we're here
It's so much worse than we feared
There's nothing left here
The country has disappeared
If the winter trees bleeding, leave red blood
The summer sweet dreaming, april blush
But none of that is ever gonna mean as much to me again.

Hold out your hand,
there's so much you don't understand
So stick as close as you can,
all of the best laid plans
You've got the white clouds hanging so high above you
You've got the helicopters dangling angling to shoot,
the shots to feed the hungry weekend news crew anchorman.

So every evening we can watch from above,
crushed cities like a bug
Fold ourselves into each others guts,
and turn our faces up to the sun.

I won't take no
I won't let you go
All by yourself
Oh no you need my help
When the cold night shakes you like a chandelier
The snowflakes break through the atmosphere,
and melt on the blue breath of the auctioneers and disappear.

Every evening we can watch from above,
crushed cities like a bug
Fold ourselves into each others blood,
and turn our faces up to the sun.

~Wilco

Während mein Körper hier ist, ist mein Herz dort...

While my body is here, my heart is there...

Time spent waiting is a bittersweet garden.

Each moment spent apart
makes each moment spent in communion
much sweeter; more rare.

These obstacles are purely physical,
a test of our resources.

Honestly, seventy four miles has never felt so far away.

Kussi

Something like love stirs.

I think in poetry...

there is more beauty to be found in days that begin with you.

Enraptured

You have a way
of melting my stress
-my sorrows
by taking my hand.

You have a way
of kissing me
that blurs all else
and sets thoughts to swirling.

You have a way
of speaking so sweetly.
I'm happy to
simply sit near,
be still,
listen.

You have a way.

You have a way.

Daylight

I smell you on my clothes;
on my hands.

All voices scratch as cat claws on bedposts.
Their contrast is yours.

You linger here...

My hands, my tounge,
my thoughts desire to create
and gift.

I draw for you;
write you poems.

My heart translates foreign texts.
My brain picks up clues in the context.

Nerves are shot,
bleached by the penetrating white heat
of each morning spent rising with the sun.

Slightly frightened:
this desire for constant interaction.

Slightly overwhelmed:
these feelings, this joy have been foreign so long.

personal energy

in. ten. tion : to determine to act in a certain way

ac.tion : a thing done ; the accomplishment of a thing usually over a period of time, in stages, or with the possibility of repetition


With the best intentions
you try your best
but what happens when
your best isn't what I need
I find my energy stores are low
daily depleted by grief
life
taking care

I need a soul that will feed mine
send that energy back my way

I know
some point soon
I'm going to have to give you less
if your best
doesn't shine through

I know
I haven't given you much
just daydreams
just thoughts

Thinking and daydreaming make me smile
and so do you in the spirit of my honesty

I'm all
dry throats and shiny teeth

and I like it

try, trying, tried

I'm ready to try
I don't think it will ever get easy
love doesn't come that way
and if it's worth wanting
it's worth working for

I'm going to try

for a film

Wake.. from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape, we escape

Pack.. and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before all hell breaks loose

Breathe, keep breathing
Don't lose your nerve
Breathe, keep breathing
I can't do this alone

Sing.. us a song
A song to keep us warm
There's such a chill, such a chill

You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one in everlasting peace

We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke



~Radiohead

Falling Out Before Ever Falling In

the language of lovers turned acquaintances
dwindles to nothing
all dwindles to nothing
and nothing ever ends
hopeful and disheartening

This Girl Part II

This girl
is ready

this girl
is saving her energy
and steering clear of drains

this girl
is running on a closed circuit system
and isn't going down
with any sinking ships

this girl
is brimming
with self satisfaction
and hope
and promise
love
and light

this girl
has a date with destiny

and as I told my friend
destiny waits for no woman

and as I told another friend
no one can love too much

lucky to the few who know
love springs from the inside
and reflects in mirrors

hopefull

Originally uploaded by hlkljgk

rocks in my pockets

weighted down
my heavy soul
wanting bright eyes
working towards the confidence to smile
to show the light
I know it's there
my friends tell me

warm lights and the scent of flowers

A week spent silenced by insecurities
I should use my voice more often
if it didn't run so deep
if my feelings were kept up on that shelf
safely distanced
I could have been spared
and I should have spared myself, perhaps
but that is so against my grain
and now the goal
gain some grace
end this chapter
peacefully, gently, smoothly
make it easy to close the book
make it easier to open the next one
learn to transition
to make a graceful exit
stop grasping
to feelings that aren't there
give a smile
take a bow
and exit

( photo courtesy of Ray Parnova )

brew

I feel myself

growing

very still

very quiet

as the sky

before a great storm

midnight

A midnight dance
my two left feet
on the patio
alone
yet
not so very

the falling leaves
are the song
and the breeze
fills

let's discover
if one can extinguish and dance