komm fuell mein leer haus

Pull out the poetry
unravel me line by line
in quiet honest moments
I think quiet honest thoughts

Books on a Shelf

Opening the pages
you tell me your stories
asking for mine

You want to know me

how it is I got to this place

I want to know you
to know it all

Our lives on display

My life on display: I am fearless

fearless to move so close
to share so much

there is much to share

affection

purposely
thoughtfully
I am in a moment
actively
precisely
recording it in my mind:
today it was your face
brand new
as a child upon waking
it was mingled contours
it was indecipherable bodies
it was the morning sun
filtering through my blinds
warming my face
painting our world gold

this is one of the moments I will chose to recall
when my grandchildren ask if I have had a happy life

this is the love that I have woven into my self

I am Love.

closing down-fuck no
lefty loosey- fuck yes
I can't turn off this glow
I am not the sad girl

I'm in love with the world
and it loves me back
so much love my little heart explodes
projects
redirects

Prudence rings

I know what I have to give
and I repeat what I've said before
I am one of the lucky bastards
who realizes
love reflects in mirrors

and those mirrors are my friends
my sisters
my daughter

I might fall off
I might be bruised
but I saddle up
I know the highest highs
and I'm not afraid to FEEL

feel good
feel sad
feel everything

tonight I feel loved
maybe not from the sources I pour mine
love begets love

it can't be helped
I can't turn it off

it pours
it ooozes
from somewhere inside

and I love to give it

tonight I feel low
and tonight I feel happy
my melodrama plays out
and I know no matter what

I win.

end
of
story

What I want most:

to feel completely connected to another human

I remember how he asked me if he could crawl under my skin
spend the rest of his life there
and how I said yes

I remember feeling that with him by my side
I could do anything

We could bleed rocks

Feeling cheated out of family my thoughts spiral

It's easier to remember old pain
than to feel the new

i want to write about everything

i want you to take me canoeing
pack a picnic
gather the Hippies
head to Myakka

i want to drift past Alligators
discern an Egret from a Herron
an Ibis from a Spoonbill

i want to sit on a sandy bank
so still
so quiet
as to trick the hermit crabs out of their homes

i want to kiss

i want to wade in cool amber water
watch minnows chase breadcrumbs

i want to gather shells
for safe keeping

i want to bathe in sun
like lazy Snapping Turtles

i want to smell Spanish Moss
watch it swing from Cypress

i want to be inspired
by it
by us
by them

six. twenty-five.forty-seven

Forty-seven miles doesn't feel so far
when every south Florida sunrise is beautiful.

One constant I've found:
the sun always rises

and today that makes me glad

thoughts so comforting

you came without a question
and I felt without a doubt
a comfort
a comfort this time last year I believed never existed
I am overwhelmed
with everything
with the love I've been given
with the love I continue to give
with the storm outside
with change
with the storm inside
with responsibility
with continuing to breathe

and now there is this feeling
so real
this feeling
that when you are near
I am home

I am overwhelmed
by comfort

and today, pain

lightening strikes the ground outside my door
I dare not go out

Country Disappeared

Wake up we're here
It's so much worse than we feared
There's nothing left here
The country has disappeared
If the winter trees bleeding, leave red blood
The summer sweet dreaming, april blush
But none of that is ever gonna mean as much to me again.

Hold out your hand,
there's so much you don't understand
So stick as close as you can,
all of the best laid plans
You've got the white clouds hanging so high above you
You've got the helicopters dangling angling to shoot,
the shots to feed the hungry weekend news crew anchorman.

So every evening we can watch from above,
crushed cities like a bug
Fold ourselves into each others guts,
and turn our faces up to the sun.

I won't take no
I won't let you go
All by yourself
Oh no you need my help
When the cold night shakes you like a chandelier
The snowflakes break through the atmosphere,
and melt on the blue breath of the auctioneers and disappear.

Every evening we can watch from above,
crushed cities like a bug
Fold ourselves into each others blood,
and turn our faces up to the sun.

~Wilco

more smiling than you know

16 days and you have left a mark

Today it is raining.
Today I am watching it rain.

I am sitting at the kitchen table
wondering to myself:

Is this salsa raw and vegan?

Während mein Körper hier ist, ist mein Herz dort...

While my body is here, my heart is there...

Time spent waiting is a bittersweet garden.

Each moment spent apart
makes each moment spent in communion
much sweeter; more rare.

These obstacles are purely physical,
a test of our resources.

Honestly, seventy four miles has never felt so far away.

Kussi

Something like love stirs.

I think in poetry...

there is more beauty to be found in days that begin with you.

Enraptured

You have a way
of melting my stress
-my sorrows
by taking my hand.

You have a way
of kissing me
that blurs all else
and sets thoughts to swirling.

You have a way
of speaking so sweetly.
I'm happy to
simply sit near,
be still,
listen.

You have a way.

You have a way.

Peace

wake up with the sun
eyes wrinkle with smiles
the baby lays sleeping
dreaming of puppies and drums

she stirs
awaking happy
the three of us sneak off
a Sunday morning adventure
into your quiet town
to gather treats for our lovers and loved

as they lie sleeping
we cook
we teach
we learn
breakfast pulls their faces into view

this is it
the way life should be
surrounded by our loved and lovers

a full house of joy
a house made into a home
crafted by loving
crafted by the joining of souls

ironic how the day found us:
the men out in the yard changing a tire
the women huddled around the baby
bathing
swaddling
laying to nap

there is a peace in that home
and we are a piece of it

gladly so.

Daylight

I smell you on my clothes;
on my hands.

All voices scratch as cat claws on bedposts.
Their contrast is yours.

You linger here...

My hands, my tounge,
my thoughts desire to create
and gift.

I draw for you;
write you poems.

My heart translates foreign texts.
My brain picks up clues in the context.

Nerves are shot,
bleached by the penetrating white heat
of each morning spent rising with the sun.

Slightly frightened:
this desire for constant interaction.

Slightly overwhelmed:
these feelings, this joy have been foreign so long.

personal energy

in. ten. tion : to determine to act in a certain way

ac.tion : a thing done ; the accomplishment of a thing usually over a period of time, in stages, or with the possibility of repetition


With the best intentions
you try your best
but what happens when
your best isn't what I need
I find my energy stores are low
daily depleted by grief
life
taking care

I need a soul that will feed mine
send that energy back my way

I know
some point soon
I'm going to have to give you less
if your best
doesn't shine through

I know
I haven't given you much
just daydreams
just thoughts

Thinking and daydreaming make me smile
and so do you in the spirit of my honesty

I'm all
dry throats and shiny teeth

and I like it

product of lowered seratonin levels and love songs

Lonely and tired

Tired of lonely

Wishing someone shivered when I passed

wishing to see the flush of a face

stop blending into the walls

when did I become the nice girl

finishing last

impressionless

I want to give butterflies

And I promise to return the favor

For a little while

I’ll care for you

For a little while

It’s all I can spare

When the attraction I have

Is to affairs with visible endings

I can't handle any more shock

goodbyes are never fun

Never fine

And I’m tired of saying it

I still want what I can never have again maybe I always will

And there are impossible shoes to fill

I want you and I don’t want you

Ignoring the red flags I pressed on

only now I’m unafraid

to say it hurt

to say

that I hate he got to me

if you come around

don’t get too comfortable

this won’t last

but I’ll treat you like a king while it does

as long as you forget to breathe when I'm near

for a film

Wake.. from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape, we escape

Pack.. and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before all hell breaks loose

Breathe, keep breathing
Don't lose your nerve
Breathe, keep breathing
I can't do this alone

Sing.. us a song
A song to keep us warm
There's such a chill, such a chill

You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one in everlasting peace

We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke



~Radiohead

a fake death

dreams trick
at least mine do
you showed up on my doorstep
you were crying and apologizing
I held you
I wrapped my arms around your head
my hands on your neck
you looked at me
you started to explain
someone was after you
they threatened your life
you had to disappear
but your home now

minding shapes

the clouds
they make shapes
take shapes
of lovers on their backs
giggling
holding hands
smiling
I want to be happy for them
while my world turns green




photo courtesy of Ferran