product of lowered seratonin levels and love songs

Lonely and tired

Tired of lonely

Wishing someone shivered when I passed

wishing to see the flush of a face

stop blending into the walls

when did I become the nice girl

finishing last

impressionless

I want to give butterflies

And I promise to return the favor

For a little while

I’ll care for you

For a little while

It’s all I can spare

When the attraction I have

Is to affairs with visible endings

I can't handle any more shock

goodbyes are never fun

Never fine

And I’m tired of saying it

I still want what I can never have again maybe I always will

And there are impossible shoes to fill

I want you and I don’t want you

Ignoring the red flags I pressed on

only now I’m unafraid

to say it hurt

to say

that I hate he got to me

if you come around

don’t get too comfortable

this won’t last

but I’ll treat you like a king while it does

as long as you forget to breathe when I'm near

for a film

Wake.. from your sleep
The drying of your tears
Today we escape, we escape

Pack.. and get dressed
Before your father hears us
Before all hell breaks loose

Breathe, keep breathing
Don't lose your nerve
Breathe, keep breathing
I can't do this alone

Sing.. us a song
A song to keep us warm
There's such a chill, such a chill

You can laugh
A spineless laugh
We hope your rules and wisdom choke you
Now we are one in everlasting peace

We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke
We hope that you choke, that you choke



~Radiohead

a fake death

dreams trick
at least mine do
you showed up on my doorstep
you were crying and apologizing
I held you
I wrapped my arms around your head
my hands on your neck
you looked at me
you started to explain
someone was after you
they threatened your life
you had to disappear
but your home now

minding shapes

the clouds
they make shapes
take shapes
of lovers on their backs
giggling
holding hands
smiling
I want to be happy for them
while my world turns green




photo courtesy of Ferran

Thoughts on the first X

I wanna ask you
do you ever sit and wonder
it's so strange that we could be together
for so long and never know never care
what goes on in the other one's head
things i thought that i never said
you said things that i never said so
i'll say something that i should have said
long ago

You don't know me
You don't know me at all
You don't know me
You don't know me at all
You don't know me
You don't know me at all
You don't know me

You coulda just propped me up at the table like a mannequin
or a cardboard standup and give me
any face that you wanted me to be seen
we're damned by the existential moment
when we saw the couple in the coma
and it was weakened witht he cliche
but we carried on anyway

so sure i could just close my eyes
yeah sure trace and memorize
but can you go back once you know

you don't know me
you don't know me at all

if i'm the person who you say i am
clueless chump you seem to think i am
so ? let it straight and your'e a dog
who cassionally escapes and needs a shorter leash
i thought would you want me back
maybe it's because...

you don't know me at all

you don't know me
you don't know me at all

so i think i'm tryna say this
what i'm tryna tell you is
not gonna come out right
don't wanna say it cause i know you'll only change it (change it, change it)

lyrics by Ben Folds